stretching

I've been incorporating pilates into my days lately. Usually the routines are anywhere between 10-20 minutes long. There was one that was 40 minutes and that really threw me through a loop. It was part of a program plan, so there were people in the comments encouraging one another to keep going with the program, commenting about how the routine went for them, etc. I like looking at the comments to see how others felt about it after I finish with the routine for the day. So, I looked at the comments after I wrapped up with the day's routine and I got the spoiler that the following day's set would be 40 minutes. I think that might have made the routine a little more difficult knowing that it would be that long. Usually I try to avoid the title as much as I can as well so that I don't get a chance to have any preconceived notions about how difficult or easy the routine will be. Anyway, it just made me curious to consider if I would have noticed the difference had I not known the duration ahead of time. I'm sure I would have noticed that the routine was longer, that it would have felt like we would never end. But I'm just curious about what that difference would have felt like.

I'm not sure why I started with that. But I finished my routine for the day and there's a move where we get into downward dog and reach one hand to the opposite foot. When I first got to this exercise in one of the previous series, I had such a difficult time. It was hard for me to reach over. I'm sure it was a strength thing, but I was honestly also scared to fall. I did still try, but it was so uncontrolled that I definitely wasn't landing correctly on my hands when getting back into downward dog. Today, though! I could already feel how strong and steady I was in my regular downward dog. Anchored. When I went into the toe taps, it actually felt good. It felt like a stretch, yeah, so that part felt good. But it also felt good how controlled it was. I wasn't frantically getting back to downward dog. I could feel some of how my body was working together, how certain muscles were keeping their positions to allow for the movement to happen. It was so cool, I still think it's so cool.

When I first got started with the exercises I did feel the difficulty in some of the movements, but I didn't feel like it was too difficult. I would see the comments and at first felt a sense of pride that I didn't find it as hard as others did. But as I kept going, I started to wonder if I was doing something wrong. I've decided that I do owe my body credit for the strength it had at the start, and that I was also not doing all of the movements correctly. And by correctly, I mean that I wasn't utilizing the muscles effectively. I was really just trying to replicate the movement as I saw it. As I keep doing this, though, I'm finding that it's not necessarily more difficult, but I can feel my muscles working. Which effectively means I can feel the tension and the release which makes it feel more intense than it had before. So by the end of today, it felt like a good stretch and I felt strength. Again, how cool!

Thank you, God. That I get to reflect on that. Thanks for the reminder of what it had felt like the first time around. Thanks for the sensations! That I can physically in my body feel strength. I wanted to say thanks, but I'm not sure that that's what I want to express. But I'm well aware of how much easier it is for me to address you and seek you when I'm down or when I'm scared and when I'm unsure. I literally came to the end of this and obviously there's so much to thank you for. But it almost feels like an addendum or postscript. Which is so interesting because in this, I know you're in it. And maybe that's why it doesn't connect for me to seek you. I guess I don't know how to seek without asking for something. Or seek independent of having a need or want or desire. GOD! This is so cool! I'm almost trying to make a problem because there is no problem. But this is a new consciousness for me. To still beg, but with giddiness. And it's not a begging for anything material or circumstantial right now. That sincerely I want to draw you into this. Clearly you're in it already and I want to make sure that I don't just not forget it, but that I can embrace it. It's almost so comfortable for me to state you and claim you in distress. And this is a new movement for me to incorporate you in delights. How cool!♡