truth is

we're still learning!

I went out yesterday and didn't get back until 11pm-ish. I had committed myself to writing every single day and I actually did for February, at least after having committed to it. I left the house yesterday at around 5:30/6pm and completely forgot about writing. When I got home, though, I remembered. And I did get the idea to write something real quick before going to sleep. But then I remembered the other time that I actually completely forgot and how I was able to still post and have the date match up. So actually, it was a lie that I did write every single day! My posting dates just made it look like it because of the time difference. Anyway, I decided to sleep and wake up early to write in the morning so that the posting date would still be as if I hadn't missed a day. I actually did wake up early enough to post, but I honestly forgot that that had been an intention of mine. I mean, that's almost better because I got to do this reflection just now about how I was almost letting myself live in a lie!

Anyway, I titled this "if i fell in love with you" first and then listened to the song again and I wasn't too happy aligning with the idea of someone contemplating leaving someone else. Truthfully, I'm not elated to claim this song either, about hiding feelings. But it's definitely sincere. I do get scared to get too deep. But that depth is what I also desire to have with someone. With specific someones at times. And I do acknowledge that it's not fair to them when it's coming from me from a place of insecurity. I'm really grateful for today. I struggled at certain points during it. But LORD, what a beautiful day. I have more to learn and more to grow, and I'm so grateful for it! That today is yet another checking point. That I could take note of some lessons learned and put them into practice. And that the practice highlighted some bits that I might want to revisit and introduced new material for me, too.

God. You're so cool. ILYSM♡