auditing

OMG, HI<3

Okay, so no secret that I struggle. Yesterday was better than the day before and today we tussled a little again.

I had a dentist appointment today, so I woke up, had breakfast, did my pilates routine and then had a shower. However, I struggled to get up out of bed, I struggled to get up after breakfast to do my pilates routine and then I had a bit of a rush of a shower. Rushed a bit getting ready once out of the shower too. Then we were off to the dentist and that was rushed, too. It takes 30 minutes to get there, but that's if I'm walking at a quick pace. We made it to the dentist office right at the time of the scheduled appointment. The dentist and dental assistant were reviewing my files and then got started on numbing me for the procedure. This was actually really cool because usually the needle part hurts so bad. But today the dentist was probably really good AND ALSO I was able to relax into it. When I felt the tension, I was able to notice and try to relax. Honestly, it still did hurt, but it actually wasn't all that bad. Now I have to be careful though because I have a temporary crown and I have to keep it on for the next two weeks while my permanent one gets made.

I went about the rest of my day and actually took a walk, too. That was funny because my mouth was still numb so I was able to feel how feeling came back. I got ahead of schedule with some things, prolonged others. I have a work project that I should probably have started on Wednesday, but I didn't. I was about to delay it again, but I tussled my way into doing at least one of the project audits. UGH. I mean, it was actually really fun. And I'm really happy with where I got. But I'm also really wanting to present something that's easy on the eyes and currently, it is not. But at the same time I want to provide as much information as possible about my process. Doing that just adds visual clutter, though. I don't know how to simplify enough while maintaining the detail that I think would help me if there were to be any questions. I'm grateful, I really am. AND – what's next? Also, it took a while and this project was pretty simple. There are other ones on the list that are not as organized to begin with. So I'm a bit intimidated by that, too. It's really cool, though. To notice you in the details. Because I had a lesson on auditing today and we went through the purposes of it and methods and troubleshooting. I'm also reading a Gospel Harmony and that's actually what inspired me to format this current iteration the way that I did. I remember when I first started some of my lessons and how it made me laugh that you were so good at this administrative stuff. Quite literally would laugh "why are you so good at this!?" I don't know why it's still so difficult to give up the reigns that I think I'm holding in stuff like this. Lord, help meeeeeee. I feel like I sound crazy in any point I make, but SERIOUSLY. If you've healed and transformed and conquered all these things in me. What can't you do in something so trivial like my work. Is this stuff ever fun for you?

Jesus! HI. & thank you for it all. ILYSM♥